I haven’t written in a long time, mostly because I don’t want to bore you with more of the same… especially when the same is along the lines of yay! life! It is so rare that I have new insights about what it means to me to live with an ostomy pouch, or to live as if I no longer have Crohn’s colitis. Whenever I think of something to say, I remember that I’ve posted something like it before. But, in case you wonder A) whether anything has occurred to dim my view of the whole thing, and/or B) what I’m up to anyway, here are a few notes…
Still happy I did it. Nothing bad or dramatic has occurred with my ostomy, so I’m just living life as a healthy person, and that’s worth everything. I do have a friend that had to go in (was it two years after her initial surgery?) to have scar tissue removed, and that freaked me out a bit. It was really difficult for her to go through feeling sick, suddenly being in the hospital again, having another surgery and healing from that, and not knowing if this would be a regular occurrence in her life. It made me realize too that I’m never in the clear. Scar tissue, a hernia, or even full-on Crohn’s disease in other parts of my GI – but none of us are ever in the clear, so it doesn’t trip me up too much. I have another friend who was reconnected, and that did get me back to thinking about how awesome it would be if scientists and engineers figure out how to grow me a new colon – at least before I’m so old that handling this pouch becomes a real dexterity issue.
Another reason I haven’t been blogging is that it turns out that being a Ph.D. student is more than a full-time job. I typically put in 12-hour days during the week, and 3-5 hour days on the weekend. I’m loving it, and it’s never far from my mind that the only thing I could manage for 12 hours when I was sick was sleeping. I also attended a conference in D.C. last spring and then a workshop in Italy in June, and I’ll be going to Vienna in a week for another conference. I love that I can travel with ease, and that my new career involves (mostly) funded trips to various places in the world to meet with people who are interested in the same things I am. And it is lovely to feel that I have an identity again other than just being a sick person.
Other than that, I took surfing lessons this summer. I find that as long as I’m wearing a wetsuit, which presses my stoma against my skin, I don’t find any complications with laying on my tummy to paddle. I still can’t surf, but at least I know enough basics to practice. I also started taking tang soo do classes. I hadn’t done martial arts since moving to California, and whenever I don’t do martial arts for a while, I really miss it. While I prefer kung fu as a style, I always choose according to two criteria: 1) time/location/price that’s comfortable for me, and 2) a good teacher. I am having fun, and again, no major issues as far as the ostomy is concerned.
So that’s it. Still loving California. Still loving life.
